‘You can’t babysit anymore’: Mother-in-law Tries to Give ‘Tough Love’ to Daughter-in-law's Children, DIL Makes Her Boundaries Clear

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 12 hr. ago Puffing-Panda AITA for Telling My In- Laws they can no longer keep our kids?
  • 02
    Hey everyone, I (31F) am a mom to two awesome boys, aged 5 and 7. My youngest is autistic, so I'm pretty careful about his routine and environment. My in-laws have been helping out by babysitting on occasion. A few times now, they've ignored the routines and boundaries I've set for my
  • 03
    youngest. They've given him foods he's allergic to and let them watch TV shows that aren't appropriate for their age, as well as not sticking to the hounded ones routines. I tried talking to them about it, but they just brush me off and said I am being overprotective.
  • 04
    Last weekend was the last straw. When I picked up the boys my youngest was really upset and in sensory overload. My oldest told me that they were yelling at him for being crying and wanting his blanket. After some questioning, I put together that my youngest had hurt his knee from a fall and wanted his blanket for comfort.
  • 05
    When he's overstimulated, his blanket is his comfort. Apparently, my in-laws told him he was fine and to shake it off, insisting he didn't need the blanket. They continued to let him lose his mind, telling him that until he calmed down, he couldn't have his blanket. This approach is completely the opposite of what
  • 06
    he needs when he's overstimulated. After hearing this, I immediately called my in-laws to see if what I heard was correct. With confidence, my mother-in-law said, "Well that's correct, but he's five and it's time he learns how to calm down without the need of a
  • 07
    blanket for comfort, don't you think? Were trying to toughen him up is all."
  • 08
    I without thinking responded by telling my in-laws they can't babysit anymore. If they want to see the kids, they're welcome to come over to my place where I can keep an eye on things because I will not allow that and my kid doesn't need to be "tough". They got really mad and said I was being ungrateful and
  • 09
    overprotective. My husband thinks I overreacted and mad that I didn't discuss it with him first.
  • 10
    I question about being the a$s because I didn't run it by my husband first and instead without any thought about him told his parents they could no longer keep our kids, so maybe I reacted without thinking but should I have discussed it with him first since its hits parents?
  • 11
    wakingdreamland • 12h ago So your husband is okay with them feeding the kids things they're allergic to?
  • 12
    Puffing-Panda OP • 11h ago So my husband is on my side and says he would have supported that decision either way but he's just upset I didn't tell him first because he would have been the one to tell her instead of me.
  • 13
    brainybrink ⚫ 10h ago Your in laws are literally traumatizing your kids. Not just your youngest, but your older child that it trapped between his brother, whose routines he knows should be abided by and his grandparents who are becoming "evil" authority figures.
  • 14
    Why on Earth would they ever get another chance to hurt your kids. Your husband not only needs to get on board that you did the right thing, but he needs to be the one taking that to his parents door. He honestly should have drove over there and
  • 15
    brought their house down. He is not their son first, he is their father first! If he doesn't get that then he shouldn't be allowed to weigh in on any decisions for those kids. He needs to get his mind right.
  • 16
    Significant_Rule_... ⚫ 11h ago Holy your in- laws are My son is 7, autistic and also has a blanket for comfort along with a wish bear care bear doll. When he's upset I make sure he has access to them at all times when he's
  • 17
    not at school. If he wants them taken with us when we go out they're in my purse until he needs them. And NO ONE is allowed to keep them from him.
  • 18
    Before his diagnosis my parents thought I coddled him too much as he was very clingy when upset and needed extra hugs and reassurance when upset. Once we got the official diagnosis that stopped immediately, they apologized and followed my rules. Now they make sure
  • 19
    he has all his comfort items handy and they never push him to calm down without them. Routine is CRUCIAL for kids, especially those with autism. The fact they're not willing to even attempt following it is proof they shouldn't be left in charge.
  • 20
    I cannot imagine how your poor son felt when people who were supposed to love and protect him tried to "toughen" him up! He's 5! Blankets are NORMAL at that age even for children who aren't autistic!!! I'll a mom, I'm 34 and I still have a special
  • 21
    plushie I sleep with. Those items can bring so much comfort. No one should ever be shamed for having one.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article